Continuing on from last weeks article about the proliferation of fake profiles on online dating sites, I’d like to explore some of the other reasons for the spectacular lack of success experienced by so many people who try web based services.
Another big problem for users is the lack of any verification of the information people give about themselves. Web based services are often free or have low start up costs, so there is no natural filtering system for those who are not genuinely seeking a partner. Matchmakers provide a professional service and we charge a fee commensurate with that. People who are looking for casual sex or who may have other unsavoury intentions tend to get put off by this. We also require an address and phone number that we can verify. People who are already married or who have something else to hide are not going to provide this information.
Online services also allow people to list themselves giving whatever information they like without verification.
Thus 69 becomes 59, 5’5” becomes 5’9” and a medium build is in reality a size 24. The internet abounds with profile photos that were taken in 1998. With a traditional matchmaking service, people rarely bother to attempt to misrepresent themselves, as if they do, we find out straight away and can adjust the profiles accordingly.
From my own perspective, I’ve never understood why people bother to misrepresent themselves. If you say you’re slim, and you’re not, the person is going to see that as soon as you meet them. In the end, you are just setting yourself up for disappointment and failure. The other party is going to be unhappy about having their hopes raised and their time wasted. If your profile is only going attract people who in reality are not interested in you, you are wasting your time with those people anyway.
A genuine matchmaker doesn’t let people pick from photos like some sort of mail order catalogue or as one of my colleagues says “the Barbie aisle in Toys R Us”
We match people based on who they really are and what they really want. We cannot guarantee instant chemistry. Chances are you will have to meet a few people before you meet the one you click with. Given that the people you meet have requested someone like you, chances are that will happen sooner, rather than later.
Please have a look at this article on Internet dating sites, this appeared in The Australian newspaper, originally it appeared in The Wall Street Journal.