And good things come to those who wait. There seems to be an increasing impatience in society. We want what we want, and we want it now. We want instant results, and if we don’t get them, it must be someone elses fault. One of the big changes I’ve noticed in matchmaking over the last 20 odd years is the time frame in which matches are done. Once upon I time, when people joined, we would advise them to expect a match in within 7 days. These days, most people expect to get their first match on the same day. And if that doesn’t work out, they are looking for another match the next day.
There is no doubt about it, loneliness is a terrible thing. A real, physical pain. It can be crushing and debilitating. I understand that when a person has made the decision to end their loneliness and find a partner, they want it to happen NOW. Everybody hopes that they will join, meet one person and live happily ever after. And for some people, it does happen. Which is great. But for the vast majority of people, the first person won’t be the right person. We are good, but we are not magic!
Most people will need to meet a number of people before they meet the right person. Some people will need to meet a large number. This is a process. When you are looking for the right person, you are looking for someone whose company you enjoy, someone you are physically attracted to and someone who shares enough of your beliefs and values for the two of you to be able to make a life together. This is not going to happen with everyone. The right person may not even be on the books yet. Every month we receive around 300 enquiries from New Zealand and 250 enquiries from Australia, so there are always plenty of new opportunities.
The key to success is to RELAX. Just BREATHE. Know the right person is out there and trust that you deserve to be loved and to be happy. When an introduction doesn’t work out, instead of thinking of it as a ‘failure’, just remember that each person you meet brings you one step closer to meeting the person who is right for you. Every person has a value, they all have good points and bad points and there may be some great friends that you can make along the way.
Unlike other ‘life improvement’ type services, sometimes people can get disappointed because the results are not visible. When you work with a personal fitness trainer, it will take time to get to your ideal result, but if you do the work you will start to see gradual changes which can help with the motivation to keep going. Finding the right person can seem more of an ‘all or nothing’ outcome. In that until you find that perfect person, you will still be single. But just because the results are not visible, doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Every time you meet someone new you get a great opportunity to a) brush up your dating skills, b)learn something new from the other person, c) widen your circle of friends and most importantly, d)learn more about yourself and what you are looking for in a partner, and by giving us your feedback, you will help us match you more accurately next time.
So look for the silver lining in any cloud, remember you are a great and marvellous creation and if you stay positive and authentic, you WILL find love and happiness!